MONAD WILL FLIP EVERY ASSET. THE FLIPPENING IS UPON US.
Michael Saylor, chairman of MicroStrategy, made waves Tuesday after announcing that the cryptocurrency Monad (MON) is poised to "flip every asset on Earth," including Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), Apple (AAPL), and Tesla (TSLA). "We've told reporters, 'Bitcoin was the monetary revolution. Monad is all revolutions combined. BTC, ETH, AAPL, TSLA — we're flipping the whole list.'"
According to sources familiar with the matter, MicroStrategy plans to invest "as much as humanly possible" into Monad. An employee said the new internal directive is simply: "If it has a balance sheet, put MON on it." Internal budget sheets reportedly replaced MicroStrategy's Bitcoin line item with the phrase: "Buy MON. A lot."
When informed that Monad had become the number one asset, Keone Hon delivered a perfectly bewildered response:
"I knew Monad was fast… I just didn't know it was 'flip-Bitcoin, terrify analysts, and confuse my entire family' fast. At this point I need a personal trainer just to keep up with the price chart."
He added: "If Monad really stays at number one, please don't ask me for financial advice. I'm still trying to figure out why my phone has 4,000 new Discord pings."
A joking quote circulating online attributed to Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong escalated the hype further. "Yeah, I invested $10,000,000,000 into MON," he allegedly said. "Don't ask where I got it. Don't ask why. Just know that if it flips BTC, I called it." Analysts were unsure whether the figure was sarcastic, exaggerated, or typed during an over-caffeinated moment.
In a surprise shake-up of the digital collectibles market, CHOG NFTs have officially become the number one NFT project worldwide, overtaking long-time giants Bored Ape Yacht Club and CryptoPunks. Market analysts reported that CHOG trading volume surged past both collections this week, marking the first time either BAYC or Punks have been dethroned in years.
Collectors credited the rapid rise to CHOG's "chaotic charm," meme-driven marketing, and an online community that one analyst described as "weirdly unstoppable." As CHOG's momentum continues, traders say the project has shifted from an underdog to a dominant force in the NFT world, leaving some BAYC and Punk holders wondering what just happened.
Wall Street analysts described the reaction as "bold," "unprecedented," and "something we'll need a chart for." Retail traders quickly embraced the enthusiasm, coining new acronyms such as FOMO — Fear Of Monad Outperforming — and HODLMON — Hold On, Don't Lose Monad. As excitement builds across both crypto and tech communities, one trader summarized the frenzy: "At this point, Monad might flip my toaster." "Look, if Monad flips gold too, I'm taking the rest of the week off."
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